Noodle: Life As A Criminal
by D-man 523
Summary: Noodle leaves Kong after a fight, and robs a bank in London! Will she ever come back? Turmoil ensues! T for language and alchahol.
1. Prologue

Prologue (Disclaimer: I do not own Gorillaz or Jim Beam)

* * *

Noodle started to ponder her life... She was an orphan, 21, living with a drunkard, a dullard, and a druggie. Her first "Job" was being part of a crack military group, as one of the 23 children picked. She was saved by her loving mentor when the other children were deemed too dangerous and exterminated... She had no money and no share of the profits, and neither did russel. 2D and Murdoc hogged it all. She was constantly harassed by fan boys, and even fan girls! She was too old to live as a flatmate, and needed cash badly. Noodle sat down on her bed, secluded in her room. Her bandmates were out grocery shopping, and she decided to raid the fridge for snacks and a drink. She slowly got up and walked out of her room... Her gentle footsteps could barely even be heard. Them and the sqeeking of rats was all that could really be heard throughout the all of Kong... She kept walking until she reached the kitchen. She opened up the fridge, hungry and bored. She peeked into the back and saw it-

A few bottles of Jim Beam. Would she drink it? "Hmmm... Should I? I'll get in trouble if Russel or 2D find out... But of course, I am 21 now. Murdoc would just laugh his ass off! He'd find it hilarious!" She reached back and grabbed it. "Well, here we go..." She said as she took the first drink. She nearly gagged at the horrible taste, but chugged some more down. In 10 minutes she had drinken 3 bottles. She hardly ever drank and so she was especially intoxicated. She went into her room and got a marker and drew 2D's face on a pillow and started talking to it. "You know I don't like to drink alone 3-2-2-Dee... You wanna watcha movie? Aha ha ha ha..." She laughed for a couple more minutes, but then sat down. "What the hell is wrong with me?" She pondered. Suddenly she heard the sound of a door being opened and closed. "Gasp! It must be a bloody robba!" She exclaimed, and grabbed the bat next to her bed unsteadily. She swaggered out of her bedroom. She heard the sound moving in the direction of the kitchen. "E-she-de robba wants a food!" She said to nobody in particular. She continued advancing to the kitchen, and in a couple of minutes she had found it. She quickly opened the kitchen door and hit the first person who was in front of the door- 2D.  
2D screamed like a girl and fell to the floor, only slightly conscious of what was going on. He heard some yelling, and Noodle's protests. But then he heard Murdocs hoarse voice, exclaiming "'Ey! Where's my Jim Beam? Nood- Oh shit." And with that 2D slowly got up. "What the bloody hell is going on? Noods, who hit me? It 'urts abunch!" Murdoc paced over to him. "She drank the beer in the fridge mate! All of it! There wos like, wot, 4 bottles in der!" Russel looked even more pissed than the others- he seemed twice his normal size and he had an angry look on his face. Noodle spoke up, "I'm twen-ee un roight? Wot the 'ell do you tosspots think I would do?! And why are you so mad Muds? I thought you would be crackin' up if you found at!" "Because, luv, those were my last friken bottles! If you would a boughten 'er own den that would have been fine with me, but I'm not sure about them two, though!" He pointed over to 2D and Russel. "I mean, I nkow how protective 2D is of you, and Russ doesn't want you to go off to some bar and meet some weirdo!" Noodle threw her hands up and shouted. "Fine then! I'm leaving!" And with that she stormed out of the room and out of their lives.

She packed everything she could that night, and left Kong at about 12:03. Noodle suddenly realized something- where would she stay? She decided to hide in the bunker until she had enough money to get a hotel room. She quietly snuck back into Kong and hid in the bunker. She dumped the potatoes out of their sack, and slept in that. She had a long, sleepless night, her head filled with disturbing thoughts of the future... But then she made a plan. A plan to get some hard-earned dough... When she awoke, it was only 7:08, and she was hungry. She looked around the area she had chosen, the food storage area. She was surrounded by food, mostly potatos, granola bars, and cookies. She diggede into a granola bar, and grabbed a potato to roast over the hellhole. She could here the white noise of the radio in the radio room, previously home to Brian Mouse, but also footsteps! She quickly scanned her surroundings again, and hid behind several sacks of potatos and a box of cookies. She peeked out and saw Murdoc walking by, most likely to do some Satanic rituals near the hellhole. Yep. He was holding some Pentagrams. Noodle sighded a sigh of relief when he walked past, not noticing her heavy breathing and sneaked out of the bunker. She tiptoed quietly past 2D's room and Murdoc's new Winnebago. She carefully walked out the front lobby, and glanced at the Pazuzu statue. It seemed to have moved since yesterday. How strange... Noodle walked carefully through the landfill, and eventually found the street. She walked until she was too far out of her bandmates' possible sight. She then tried to hitchhike; It was tourist season and this was a much taken shortcut to more desirable locations. Plenty of cars went by, but after a few hours, Noodle's thumb was sore, but then a Bentley pulled over and shouted to her: "Where are you going? London, ba chance?" Noodle decided yes, and shouted back. "Yes! Please!" "Well then come on, le's go!" Noodle then ran to the car, and inspected the chap inside. He wore a pencil thin, blond mustache. He was wearing a tweed overcoat over a white vest proclaiming "Death Metal Rocks", and a tweed hat. He had black, polished shoes on, and blue jeans. "What an odd outfit..." She thought. The man gave her a happy smile and they drove off.

The man immediately noticed the smell of alchahol on her breath after only a few seconds. "You been drinkin?" He asked. "Yes... My first time last night. A few bottles of Jim Beam." Noodle replied. "Jim Beam, 'ey? You oughta get some better stuff! The kind straight from the brewery, not from a shipping truck!" Noodle replied with an unsteady yeh; she felt akward and alone. He drabbled on with a few more questions, like where are you from and of course what's you name, but the rest of the trip was pretty silent. At one point she had to go to the bathroom, and asked the man(Robby was his name) to pull over at the next rest area. They did, and it was slightly awkward again. She came back to the car and they kept driving. Once they got to london, Noodle got out. "Thanks for the ride!" She complimented, and the man smiled, waved goodby, and drove off, leaving her all on her own once again. She looked around for the nearest bank, about to put her masterplan into action...


	2. The Robbery

Chapter 1 (Disclaimer: I do not own Coldplay Viva La Vida, Blur, Gorillaz, Franz Ferdinand, Clydesville Bank, or Hot Fuzz)  
Noodle looked at the bank in front of her; Clydesville bank, with, as she had expected, a large chandelier atop it's cieling. Her plan: to use the samurai sword that she brought with her from Kong to cut the chandelier off of the cieling, after huddling the people inside into the area of which it would fall, and then grabbing the money that she needed. It was an expert plan, she thought to herself over and over again. She took the sword and hid it in her shirt. She then went into the bank, not acting suspicious at all. Just a normal adult, going in to get some money from her bank account. Or everyone else's bank account... She took a gold bar out from her pocket, from Kong, and stood directly beneath the chandelier. "Free gold anybody?! I've got a FREE gold bar here! Come and get it!" she exclaimed to the masses. Instantly, a swarm of people ran over to her. Even security gaurds and officials! She then nimbly jumped to the chandelier. With a single slice of her blade the chandelier fell, and a scream was heard, followed by many others. Noodle looked down upon the entrapped mass below her. She leaped off of the chandelier and climbed to the registers taking thousands of Euros. She strided off with a child-like skip in her step, followed by the harassed moans of victims of her little stunt. "Ha!"  
Noodle ran off from the scene, never to return.

Like a child, she impulsed to return to her home, but she could never do that. 2D would hate her, and so would Russel. She wasn't even sure what Muds would think... She had never valued his opinion anyways... He was a tosspot. She started to feel stupid- she was just walking around London with a huge handful of Euros and a samurai sword in hand! She immediately sat down and stuffed it in her suitcase, along with the samurai sword and bar of gold. She walked over to a little bakery and bought some donuts and a coffee. Noodle hated the taste, but at least it kept her awake. She kept walking until she found a motel, Motel sle-z. She took a room and a sterio and listened to Coldplay and Blur all night, and a bit of Franz Ferdinand. "Viva La Vida" was her favorite album ever, and drew much inspiration from it. She laughed abolut memories from times with the band, and pondered a solo project. Throughout the night she thought about lots of things, including herself again. At about 12:20 she fell asleep, the best sleep that she had had for a week. When she awoke, she heard gunshots, and shouts of police officers. "Oh shit..." Noodle said to herself. "They found me..."

She looked outside the window and saw them taking away a gruff man with a gun, and a woman being carried away on a stretcher. "Whew... They're takin away some shooter..." She got up and got dreesed, and went to a caffe across the street. She ordered a triple shot, and puked a few minutes after having it. It made her feel... Sick. She got a bagel and left, bored out of her head. Across the street she saw a paper. On the cover it proclaimed: MASS FORECLOSURES IN LONDON! GET A GREAT PRICE ON A GREAT HOME! PLENTY HOMES ARE OUT THERE, SO START SPENDING! "Hmmm... Perhaps I could by a home..." She bent down and checked her suitcase. She still had plenty of money to put down a down payment. She bought the paper and browsed the homes for sale, and she found the one she wanted. "Great home! North london, wrap around deck, 2-story, pool, all-new appliances, new carpet, STAINED GLASS WINDOWS! Get it while it's hot!" It had a number on the lower left corner. She decided to call it. She took out the cell phone she had gotten for her 19th birthday and dialed the number. "Hello?" A voice on the other line. "Hi. This is... Umm... Lisa... Emmet... Nadalia..." Noodle replied, using a fake name. "Okay. Now, are you a potential customer?" The lady asked. "Yes. I would like to buy the house in North London." It was on. She was doing it.

Noodle met the woman on the other line, Brandine, at her office to put down a down payment and fill out some documents. The entire process was quite boring and tedious, but Noodle was happy to have done it. She took a Taxicab over to the home and found it to be quite beautiful, exactly like she had imagined! It was everything the newspaper had said, plus more! The pool was great! It had a deep end and a shallow end like most pools, plus a diving board! Inside it was fully furnished, ready for her to move into! She lay down on the couch, leather. It was cozy and comfortable, and she sighed a sigh of contentment. This was Noodle's new life, fully furnished. Of course, her journey wasn't over yet- she still needed a job, and possibly a car. She coundn't spend too much money in the country since officials would get suspicious, and so she decided to wait to buy a car. Decisions, decisions... So many decisions... What job would she get? What car would she get when she needed to? Would her new life turn out better, or for worse? She didn't know. She went out to the grocery store later to buy some food. Still desicions- cucumbers or zuccini? Noodle paced through the grocery store, afraid that somebody would shout "There she is! The bank robba from the paypas! STOP HER!!!" Noodle made her way quickly through the store, avoiding eye contact with anyone. When she got to the checkout line, she simply loaded her groceries and stared at the floor. "'Ey pre'y la'y. 'oo new in 'own?" The cashier asked. "No. I've lived here all ma life." She replied saunterly. The man frowned at her displeasure and rang her up. "Dat'll 'e 139.5219 Eu'o." Noodle handed the man a wad of cash and he just sat ther, dumbfounded; the girl had given him 3,000 Euro too much. She ran off holding her groceries. She stopped another yellow colour taxicab; the same one as from earlier. The driver tried to make converstion but Noodle simply gave him the evil eye. They arrived at her house shortly later and she tipped him a few pence. She put away the groceries as quick as she could and watched Hot Fuzz- her favorite movie brought from Kong. She sat back and relaxed, content with her new life. Oh yeh. She could get used to this. 


	3. Leaving

Chapter 2 (Disclaimer: I do not own Hot Fuzz, Modest Mouse, Franz Ferdinand, Black Eyed Peas, Madona, or Gorillaz)  
When Noodle woke up she was tired, and the tellie was still on. Her eyes were only half open. "Wot? Woz 'at?" She muttered to herself and looked around. She promptly noticed that the tellie was still on, displaying the Hot Fuzz menu. She grabbed the remote off the armrest of the couch she had spent the night on and turned off the movie. Now there was only the white noise of the TV, soothing her back to sleep... Perhaps she would sleep a few more hours... No, she had work to do. A job was the first thing on her list, and so she got up and got dressed. She wore some old clothes from Kong, with Eastern Dragons climbing along her right sleeve and left pantleg. She cut her hair shorter with a pair of scissors she had boughten from the store. Noodle eagerly walked outside and yawned, taking in the view of London- it was so much bigger and better than her old home. She grabbed her radio headgear from her bedroom and listened to the radio; Modest mouse was playing. She liked Modest Mouse too, but she didn't love it. She turned to another radio station; Madona. "The epitome of bitch." She thought. On another station, Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow" was playing. Noodle also liked the Black Eyed Peas, but not as much as Russel did. She changed to yet another channel, this time to "No You Girls" by Franz Ferdinand. Exellent. She sat back and relaxed for 20 minutes or so until she checked the clock on her phone. It was already 1:23. She took her radio headgear and went inside to groom herself and get ready for the day. She finished roughly an hour later( I don't mean to offend you, girlies). After a long-awaited shower she went outside and called a taxi over and told him to mindlessly drive around town, and he hesitantly agreed. She saw a bakery with a HELP WANTED sign but she was no good at baking. She saw a computer repair store with one too, but she couldn't fix computers either. Then, right when she was about to give up, she saw a local store proclaiming a HELP WANTED sign. She told the driver to pull over and he did. She payed the fare and went inside. "Hello how may I help you?" A woman at the counter asked. Her nametag said BETH. "Kenichiwa. I am applying for a job here. do you have an application form for me to fill out?" Noodle replyed. "Why yes we do." Beth said and handed her a form. "Thank you." "Hey! You're that girl I gave a ride to! What are you doing here, at my favorite store!" Said a male voice. Noodle looked around to see who was talking to her, and saw Robby, the man she had hitchhiked with! "Filling out a job application. Do you live here in London?" Noodle asked. Her carefree nature had returned, much different from the day earlier at the grocerie store. "Oh me? Yes, yes I do! I was just returning from Miami in America. Vacationing, you know. It's much warmer in England now though, so I came home!" The two talked like best freinds for a few more minutes and then Robby grabbed his things and left. But before he did, he gave her his number and adress. Noodle looked at the application. There was plenty of questions. Would she fill it out would she establish more roots in London? She filled in the first question.

A few minutes later Noodle was done. She handed her application into the hag at the counter, Sami, and she evaluated it. "So. You've lived here all yur life it says he-ar. That is true?" Sami asked. "Um... Yes, um... Sami." Noodle replied. "Okay. W'ell get bay-uk to ya in a coupe days." Sami told her. "Okay." Noodle skipped out of the store and got a taxi. The driver seemed slower than the others, but Noodle didn't mind. She didn't need to be anywhere. "Ah... This is the life." She thought. The taxi stopped for a moment and the driver looked back at her. "Am I drivin too- Oh my God! You're the gal from the paypas! The bank robba! You trapped all those people under the chandeliers!!!" The man exclaimed. "I'm callin the cops." The bloke said. Noodle rolled down her window and jumped out quickly. "Hey!!! Where're you going?!" He shouted after her. She was already gone from sight.

Noodle ran all the way home, and when she got there she quickly made over herself. She died her hair black and put it into a ponytail, and then put a new dress on. Disturbing thoughts filled her head. "What if thay followed me? Am I going to jail?!!" She thought. Her drawrers were full of makeup and such, and she quickly applied some to her face. Next she shaved her legs. Noodle was now a completely new person. A new look, a new freind, a whole new life. How could she ever cope...? She didn't know how she could. This time she was really not going to be found. She was moving away from London. The police would surely find her and put her away forever. Her whole life was turned over again; why her? Why did she rob the bank? It was a stupid decision, but it was too late to take it back. "I will leave today." Noodle thought.

Noodle ran all the way home, and when she got there she quickly made over herself. She died her hair black and put it into a ponytail, and then put a new dress on. Disturbing thoughts filled her head. "What if thay followed me? Am I going to jail?!!" She thought. Her drawrers were full of makeup and such, and she quickly applied some to her face. Next she shaved her legs. Noodle was now a completely new person. A new look, a new freind, a whole new life. How could she ever cope...?


	4. Insanity Overcomes

Chapter 4

(Disclaimer: I do not own Gorillaz) Noodle was sitting in a taxicab. She looked at her cellphone- she had gotten a message! She checked it. It was from 2D! It read: "noods- hi frm kong. r u still mad? plz come back!" Noodle gasped in joy. She hadn't had contact with any of them since she left! She texted back: "i m comng home! i cnt tell u about wat i hav dun tho..."

She pressed send. Things would turn out good! When she got to safety, she could go back to being Noodle, the world famous guitarist for Gorillaz, not a criminal! The taxi driver asked her where to go. "Essex, please." The cab drove off from London and she hoped never to return. Ever.

They arrived at Kong shortly later. The man told her her bill and she paid. The man slipped his ohone number on the bill. "No thanks." She thought. She took her Samurai out of her suitcase and slashed some zombies on the way up. The place needed some landscaping, and badly! Suddenly, she noticed something.  
Kong was gone! All that was left was burned rubble and charred remains. How grim. "Oh my- It's gone! All gone! Where am I supposed to live?" She yelled at herself. She clutched her head. Insanity started to take over...

"Noodle... Why didn't you come sooner... Why? WHY?!" A voice asked her. It was 2D's voice! She looked at her phone. The message had been from a few days earlier. More voices started chanting the single question, why. Murdoc joined, and then Russel. 2D started laughing, and so did Noodle. "Ha... Ha ha ha! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Noodle laughed until she cried, and laughed until she fell to the ground. A mixture of giddiness, misery, and insanity had overcome her. A man walked up to her. He dragged her back to his cabin, her laughing and crying and screaming all the way...

3 years later

Noodle was sitting in therapy, in Essex. The woman was trying to unlock Noodle's memories, since she had suffered amnesia and a heart attack. She had been in therapy for a year now, but none of it seemed to work. The man who had tooken her was named Derick mapmer. He played drums and all types of percussion. Him and noodle had started a band called "Essecks", signed to EMI. They had only made one album, "Memories are gone", reflecting Noodles mental situation. Noodle played sad vocals and hardcore electric guitar. Derick had gotten her a great guitar for her 22nd birthday. Noodle had named it "Le Exellente". She loved the guitar, and played it most of the time. The stress of their tour had brought back disturbing nightmares, and she needed the therapy...

4 years later

"Essecks" had released another album, called "Derry", named after Derick, sounding like dairy. Noodle had gotten over her therapy recently. But, not everything was peaches and creme... Not at all. Two years after finishing therapy, Noodle had went insane again, but this time it was worse. She killed 15 people with her guitar, stabbed to death by Le Exellente. It had been a year since then and she was still at large. She had killed 30 people now. The people of Europe were terrified to leave their homes.

* * *

THE END

I have separated the lines more, due to a reviewer's request. I hope you like the last chapter! Quite grim... Anyways, read my other Sonic Story, plz!


End file.
